this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
