were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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