Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
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