I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
