she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
