i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize