Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
