Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
