I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
