i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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