I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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