ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
