This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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