So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
