Sry I called you an 8
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize