3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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