This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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