i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize