You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
