Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
