we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize