you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
