theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
