that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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