But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
