1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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