Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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