we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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