I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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