do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
