I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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