Jerry, you need to find god
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
false alarm. still invincible.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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