The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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