is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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