wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
