dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
