ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
two words: eviction party
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
