hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
