you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You dont lie about slip and slides
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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