you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
