You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
