Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
