Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
