There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
