I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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