Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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