I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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