I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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