We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I want a musical about memes.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
