Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
