I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
